Is that you, RPS readership? It’s me, Edwin. I’m back from last week’s unscheduled spell of Maw mastication, and regrettably, I still have possession of all my typing fingers. James was kind enough to do the round-up post in my absence, but the experience has clearly taken a toll, as he is now in India. James, if I fled to another country everytime the Maw ate a colleague I’d have run out of other countries to flee to. But hey, knock yourself out. It’s not like there are any big brands getting fresh instalments this week. It’s not like… oh good gravy.
All maw-wranglers to battlestations! Here comes ILA: A Frosty Glide, a teeny open world affair featuring a young witch-in-training. Don’t be fooled by Ila’s apple-cheeked smile and carefree broom-surfing. She’s just trying to distract you from the horrors descending from behind.
Eek, get your katana out of my neck, Ninja Gaiden 4! Can’t you see I’m trying to free my ankle from the jaws of Jurassic World Evolution 3? Go play Rock Shuriken Shotgun with the Painkiller remake while I check out this neat and relatively non-corpo isopod platformer recommended by Mark. Who’s that rattling the doorknob? Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2? A likely story. There’s no such thing as Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2. There are only Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 delay announcements.
The onslaught thins! Let’s take a minute to play Dispatch, the Telltale-style superhero workplace comedy, and possibly break the crust on Avernum 4: Greed and Glory, the latest CRPG from the genre stalwarts at Spiderweb. There’s also internet horror phantasm oneway.exe, which was supposed to come out a couple of weeks ago, and bunny-hopping psycho-platformer Funkyheart.
I open the window and am promptly blasted across my flat by a jet of water. It must be Powerwash Simulator 2. The water covers the lawn outside, which disgorges a wrathful bouquet of rapid-firing daffodils. It must be Popcap remake Plant vs Zombies: Replanted. I flee the building in panic, and am clotheslined at the corner by Double Dragon Revive. When I wake, I’ve been isekaied to the menacing France of Dreamed Away, where I sample exactly one minigame before getting flattened by an enormous katamari.
We made it to Friday. Finally, there is time. Time to sit on The Bench and feed the pigeons. Time to build towers, idly. I won’t end the week by running off to India like that lily-livered James, but I might pay a quick recuperative visit to Bleak Haven. They wouldn’t have called it a “haven” if it weren’t wholesome. I refuse to look up “bleak” in the dictionary.
Do you have your eye on any particular games out this week? If I have embarrassingly neglected to mention a major release, please respect my chronic shortage of self-esteem and give me no sign. With James away, it’s just me and Mark cranking the handles of non-guides editorial till Friday, plus evening freelance news from Oisin, so there might be the odd break in postage. Hope things are good at your end.
- Security Camera Installation – indoor/outdoor IP CCTV systems & video analytics
- Access Control Installation – key card, fob, biometric & cloud‑based door entry
- Business Security Systems – integrated alarms, surveillance & access control
- Structured Cabling Services – voice, data & fiber infrastructure for new or existing builds
- Video Monitoring Services – 24/7 remote surveillance and analytics monitoring
Author: 360 Technology Group
